Yes, but he is the poor little boy acting out in his grief and he's the one who ran into the cafeteria so there would be witnesses, so I seem like the bully.
We can meet in my room, Willow is hanging with her friend. Doing Wicca things.
When Angel knocked on the door, Buffy let him in, having given herself the time to shower first. She was still brushing her hair, but fully dressed and smiling at him. "Hey. You aren't one of those who's now feeling less manly, because I defended your honour, right? I've lost boyfriends over that."
Angel was still looking a little beat up from the fateful day in the closet, so he had hardly been in shape to defend his own honor even if his slightly traditional heary would have liked it a bit better.
He stood sort of awkwardly by the door, hunching a little with a very "wounded puppy" kind of look in his eyes.
"Oh boy." Buffy took a deep breath and looked at Angel with obvious apprehension. "People never say stuff like that and follow it up with good news, you know? No; There's something I need to tell you, I made banana bread."
Why could she not stop herself from rambling. "I don't even like banana bread, for the record, so that wouldn't even be good news. So. Any chance it's banana bread?"
Angel really shouldn't be smiling at a time like this, but Buffy's rambling always had that effect on him, even if it was a pretty sad smile this time around. Buffy probably wouldn't want to ramble at him anymore after this.
"Not banana bread."
He sighed and scratched the back of his neck, grasping for words and not finding any good ones.
"Messed up how?" Because she honestly wasn't sure what to prefer for, knowing the depth of Angel's guilt complex. When he had told her about Drusilla, he had looked just like this. But then, he had also looked equally sorrowful the one time he couldn't resist taking the last few of her chips. It was hard to gauge how much he had messed up by how bad he seemed to feel. "What did you do?"
"You know when me and Spike got locked in the closet?"
That sentence really wasn't getting less ridiculous over time. And yes, he was stalling a little because well... he didn't want to lose the girl he loved.
"Yes, that is kind of hard to forget." A strange day that had been for sure. Buffy wished she knew what was coming, even if there was also the urge to cover her ears and yell lalalala until this was over.
Angel was her college boyfriend. The real deal. The one. Not like those boys from high school who had all been or become awful in different ways. She didn't want this to end badly. She didn't want this to end at all.
"You kissed Spike." Repeating it didn't change that it happened. "You and him kissed. You made out with Spike."
No, the facts still hadn't changed. She stared at him, wondering how to react. How would she react if he'd told her he had made out with a girl? Buffy didn't even know. She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "What does that mean? Do you..." She paused, shaking her head. "Are you in love with Spike?" Because everything else aside, that seemed like awful taste. "You could do better. Guy-wise. Not that that matters right now. But yeah."
"I believe generally people who are in love with someone find it easy not to kiss people they claim to hate in dark closets." Buffy held on to anger and sarcasm, because she didn't want to know what emotions lurked beneath. She took a step back from Angel, changing her stance a little. "I don't want to be caught in the middle of whatever perverted game you and Spike are playing."
She would have really liked to storm off now. On the other hand, at least this way she would be able to grab a stuffed toy and hide under her blanket as soon as he left. Which would happen. Which she would make happen, because she couldn't let him get away with this. Just because he was gorgeous and sweet, smart, caring, strong and brave, just because he made her heart beat fast and make her love him so much that she missed him any time they weren't together, just because of that didn't mean that she could roll over.
Buffy blinked and then straightened up. No, she wouldn't allow tears to happen. Not while he was here. The urge to let him hold her until she felt better was already too strong. "You have to find out what you want. But I'm not going to wait around for you to do that while you experiment."
This was definitely not the time to mention that he had already done more experimentation than anyone really needed to. It was also not the time to bring up the claddagh he had lying around in his room in preparation for her birthday.
But he couldn't just slink away in silence either.
"No. I'll do the waiting. However long it takes. If you ever think that maybe there's a chance... I'll be there."
And with that, he opened the door to let himself out.
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Re: to Buffy (he hopes)
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But I have time for you either way.
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Let me know when you're done and we can pick a place to meet up.
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We can meet in my room, Willow is hanging with her friend. Doing Wicca things.
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Okay, just let me know when to come over.
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Twenty minutes?
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See you soon.
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Angel was still looking a little beat up from the fateful day in the closet, so he had hardly been in shape to defend his own honor even if his slightly traditional heary would have liked it a bit better.
He stood sort of awkwardly by the door, hunching a little with a very "wounded puppy" kind of look in his eyes.
"Buffy... there's something I need to tell you."
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Why could she not stop herself from rambling. "I don't even like banana bread, for the record, so that wouldn't even be good news. So. Any chance it's banana bread?"
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"Not banana bread."
He sighed and scratched the back of his neck, grasping for words and not finding any good ones.
"I've messed up. Badly."
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That sentence really wasn't getting less ridiculous over time. And yes, he was stalling a little because well... he didn't want to lose the girl he loved.
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Angel was her college boyfriend. The real deal. The one. Not like those boys from high school who had all been or become awful in different ways. She didn't want this to end badly. She didn't want this to end at all.
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"Well, we were fighting like we always do but then... Spike kissed me. And I kissed him back. I don't know why."
He shrugged helplessly, wishing there was anything he could say to make it better.
"I'm... I'm so sorry."
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No, the facts still hadn't changed. She stared at him, wondering how to react. How would she react if he'd told her he had made out with a girl? Buffy didn't even know. She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "What does that mean? Do you..." She paused, shaking her head. "Are you in love with Spike?" Because everything else aside, that seemed like awful taste. "You could do better. Guy-wise. Not that that matters right now. But yeah."
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Angel took a small step toward Buffy, but stopped himself before he got within ball-kicking range.
"I mean yes, I could do better but no, I'm not in love with him. I'm in love with you. And I can't do better than that."
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He deserved this, he knew he did.
Knowing somehow didn't do anything to lessen the pain in his heart.
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Buffy blinked and then straightened up. No, she wouldn't allow tears to happen. Not while he was here. The urge to let him hold her until she felt better was already too strong. "You have to find out what you want. But I'm not going to wait around for you to do that while you experiment."
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But he couldn't just slink away in silence either.
"No. I'll do the waiting. However long it takes. If you ever think that maybe there's a chance... I'll be there."
And with that, he opened the door to let himself out.