"You kissed Spike." Repeating it didn't change that it happened. "You and him kissed. You made out with Spike."
No, the facts still hadn't changed. She stared at him, wondering how to react. How would she react if he'd told her he had made out with a girl? Buffy didn't even know. She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "What does that mean? Do you..." She paused, shaking her head. "Are you in love with Spike?" Because everything else aside, that seemed like awful taste. "You could do better. Guy-wise. Not that that matters right now. But yeah."
"I believe generally people who are in love with someone find it easy not to kiss people they claim to hate in dark closets." Buffy held on to anger and sarcasm, because she didn't want to know what emotions lurked beneath. She took a step back from Angel, changing her stance a little. "I don't want to be caught in the middle of whatever perverted game you and Spike are playing."
She would have really liked to storm off now. On the other hand, at least this way she would be able to grab a stuffed toy and hide under her blanket as soon as he left. Which would happen. Which she would make happen, because she couldn't let him get away with this. Just because he was gorgeous and sweet, smart, caring, strong and brave, just because he made her heart beat fast and make her love him so much that she missed him any time they weren't together, just because of that didn't mean that she could roll over.
Buffy blinked and then straightened up. No, she wouldn't allow tears to happen. Not while he was here. The urge to let him hold her until she felt better was already too strong. "You have to find out what you want. But I'm not going to wait around for you to do that while you experiment."
This was definitely not the time to mention that he had already done more experimentation than anyone really needed to. It was also not the time to bring up the claddagh he had lying around in his room in preparation for her birthday.
But he couldn't just slink away in silence either.
"No. I'll do the waiting. However long it takes. If you ever think that maybe there's a chance... I'll be there."
And with that, he opened the door to let himself out.
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"Well, we were fighting like we always do but then... Spike kissed me. And I kissed him back. I don't know why."
He shrugged helplessly, wishing there was anything he could say to make it better.
"I'm... I'm so sorry."
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No, the facts still hadn't changed. She stared at him, wondering how to react. How would she react if he'd told her he had made out with a girl? Buffy didn't even know. She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "What does that mean? Do you..." She paused, shaking her head. "Are you in love with Spike?" Because everything else aside, that seemed like awful taste. "You could do better. Guy-wise. Not that that matters right now. But yeah."
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Angel took a small step toward Buffy, but stopped himself before he got within ball-kicking range.
"I mean yes, I could do better but no, I'm not in love with him. I'm in love with you. And I can't do better than that."
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He deserved this, he knew he did.
Knowing somehow didn't do anything to lessen the pain in his heart.
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Buffy blinked and then straightened up. No, she wouldn't allow tears to happen. Not while he was here. The urge to let him hold her until she felt better was already too strong. "You have to find out what you want. But I'm not going to wait around for you to do that while you experiment."
no subject
But he couldn't just slink away in silence either.
"No. I'll do the waiting. However long it takes. If you ever think that maybe there's a chance... I'll be there."
And with that, he opened the door to let himself out.