"Bugger that, I'm not screaming out like some nancy boy and I ain't feeling like bashing up the door. That's a lot of effort and I really can't be arsed." That and he doesn't think he can do it so he doesn't want to feel like a weakling in front of Angel. It's always easier to pretend he's a man around Angel, easier than being young and weak - that was exploitable.
And fuck that, he won't let that happen.
"Looks like we're stuck for a few, eh?" Idly, he pulled a flask from his jacket and took a sip, offering it out to Angel silently.
"Oh yeah, I do. Hang on, lemme see if I've got battery."
Spike pulled out his phone and, of course, his screen was smashed thanks to one drunken night out. It still worked but it looked a right state. "Not in the best nick but lookie, still got myself 48%."
He pulled up his contacts and scrolled along. "Who'd we call?"
"Gay." Spike just called it like he saw it. "Whatever, call your lover boy. Give Percy my love." He tossed his phone to Angel dismissively. If he wanted to call his boyfriend, he could. Dru never looked at her phone and often just danced when it rang and .... and that was all the people he could call in a crisis.
Honestly all Angel could do as he dialed what he hope was Wes's number was hope that he got this right, because he didn't actually know all that many numbers by heart that could be useful in this situation.
"You try to punch me in the face whenever I talk to your girlfriend so you have no business calling anyone too intense."
For once, this was actually said with a bit of a smile.
"No, Wes, not you, I was talking to Spike. Listen, we're locked in some kind of storage room somewhere on campus, you think you could maybe come and find us?"
"It's not the same." He had to protect Dru. Always. Angel had gotten her hurt before, he didn't want to risk it ever happening again. Irrational? Sure. But he didn't care.
"Do you need the key? I'll have to track one down. Luckily, as Hall monitor, I have access to the maintenance keys."
"He said that like a brag. Tell Percy that's not a brag."
"I'm on my way!"
"Oh, fantastic. Perfect Percy is coming to our rescue." Well, it was something. Spike tilted his head back. "Helping you come out of the closet."
Edited (a mistake has been made!!!) 2018-07-06 12:55 (UTC)
Angel shook his head a little, both at his own near slip of the tongue and Spike's insistence on staying with the whole "Angel is a flaming rainbow champion" thing.
"Cause... I dunno. Whatever. He's a bit of nancy boy, don't you think? I mean. Like. Have you seen his bloody hair? And those glasses? Right loser, ain't he?" Or, you know, he's just going to casually attack all the things about Wesley that remind him of himself. Or, more accurately, William.
And no one hates himself like Spike hates himself. They can try, they get pretty darn close, but they never quite reach it.
"And yet you like him? Bullshit. I'd warn him." Spike remembered what Angelus did to his stamp collection, his books, journal and all the shit he'd said. Mindless bullying but it only grew. And then came the things he did to Dru. William could never protect Dru - Spike could.
That's why he changed.
"You know, I never did much like you, Liam." Ha. There. He said it first. Taking a sip from his hip flask, he exhaled slowly. "Always thought you were a bit of a dick."
"What can I say? You're the one who made me, aren't you? I guess I'm sort of like your punishment, ain't I? Me and Drusilla. The rest of the world doesn't care and you want to forget but ..."
But Spike can't. He knew it was irrational and kind of crazy but he just couldn't stop himself.
"I can't so why should you?"
Petty but whatever. "You were supposed to be --whatever, doesn't matter." His friend. His mentor. Other things. Whatever.
"Do you seriously think I will ever be able to forget?"
What a preposterous notion, to think that he could ever get away from the things he's done.
"What was I supposed to be?"
Might as well hear another way in which he failed. He's always been so very good at not being what people want him to be. The only person he ever came close to pleasing was probably Darla, but he would never claim that with any amount of confidence.
"Dunno, you're the bloke swaggering about campus like you're someone else. They don't know it but I do. I know who you really are, mate. Seen what you can do."
He completely broke Drusilla. Whether or not he meant it to get out of hand like it did, he truly believed that Angel could have stopped it.
The question is a little hard to answer, he lowered his head and frowned a little.
"Not what you were. And exactly what you were. I-- doesn't make much sense." He huffed a laugh out. "You were supposed to be my yoda, my ... my friend. Not that I needed it, mind. Just saying."
Angel's current MO was something more along the lines of hunching and skulking. He was going to give himself problems with how bad his posture was getting.
"I'm sorry I let you down, Will."
For some reason, Spike had always been the hardest one to say those words to, and if Angel was to be honest he probably still couldn't say them without being locked in a dark room with the guy.
Edited (tenses, I dislike them ) 2018-07-07 09:24 (UTC)
Spike wanted to be upset but, as always, it came out as anger. He never knew how to express half of what he felt, that was why his poems were such a hot mess. Angrily, he jumped up and started to pace, agitated and worked up.
"Stop playing this game, I know what you're doing. Use my name and -- this is what you do to Dru! And it gets all in your head and starts to -- God!" He growled and kicked a nearby stack of boxes. Like a big man. "You drive me up the bleeding bend, you do."
Moving forward, he gave him a small shove, not enough to do anything but empathises his point. Gritting his teeth, he stayed in his personal space, hand on his chest.
"You're jealous that I got everything and you got nothing. Not any more!"
Angel didn't really have anywhere to go, and he couldn't really move forward to assert some form of dominance either so he just sort of jutted his chin out at Spike and stayed put.
"Maybe your real problem is that I'm not. I don't want anything that you have, I don't know why you can't get that through your thick skull."
"I got Dru, I got more respect, I'm badder than you ever were. Face it, Angelus. I outdid you." Yes, this was a pathetic dick measuring context but what else did he have? He was young, an idiot and trying to defeat the person who represented all his insecurities.
"You got nothing on me." He gripped Angel's jacket and moved in close, practically bearing his teeth. "Nothing."
"I hope for your sake that you're nowhere close to being what I was, because you don't want that kind of fallout poisoning your life, Spike."
He took hold of Spike's wrists and tore his hands away from his jacket. He would have gladly let go after, but he kept his hold in case Spike decided to take a swing at him.
Spike wriggled around in Angel's grip but he couldn't just get him off. Embarrassing, actually. He shoved at him again and groaned in annoyance. "Fucking let go of me now, Peaches. I mean it."
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And fuck that, he won't let that happen.
"Looks like we're stuck for a few, eh?" Idly, he pulled a flask from his jacket and took a sip, offering it out to Angel silently.
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Angel's words implied an intention to act, but what he ended up doing was just accepting the flask and taking a sip from it.
Look. Sometimes you just have to take a break.
"I don't suppose you have a phone on you?"
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Spike pulled out his phone and, of course, his screen was smashed thanks to one drunken night out. It still worked but it looked a right state. "Not in the best nick but lookie, still got myself 48%."
He pulled up his contacts and scrolled along. "Who'd we call?"
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Because yes, Angel was most certainly the kind of person who still memorised phone numbers.
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He didn't exactly have friends. He just had Dru.
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Honestly all Angel could do as he dialed what he hope was Wes's number was hope that he got this right, because he didn't actually know all that many numbers by heart that could be useful in this situation.
"Gay."
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And this was a guy who dated Drusilla. Make of this what you will. Wesley did pick up, of course he did. It took two rings before he eagerly answered.
"See, look, intense. No one picks up that quickly."
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For once, this was actually said with a bit of a smile.
"No, Wes, not you, I was talking to Spike. Listen, we're locked in some kind of storage room somewhere on campus, you think you could maybe come and find us?"
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"Do you need the key? I'll have to track one down. Luckily, as Hall monitor, I have access to the maintenance keys."
"He said that like a brag. Tell Percy that's not a brag."
"I'm on my way!"
"Oh, fantastic. Perfect Percy is coming to our rescue." Well, it was something. Spike tilted his head back. "Helping you come out of the closet."
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Angel shook his head a little, both at his own near slip of the tongue and Spike's insistence on staying with the whole "Angel is a flaming rainbow champion" thing.
"Why do you call him that?"
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And no one hates himself like Spike hates himself. They can try, they get pretty darn close, but they never quite reach it.
"S'funny, is all."
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The kid that looked up to him and that he proceeded to be a terrible influence on before breaking his heart by playing a role in Dru's suffering.
Maybe that was why he took to Wes so easily. It was a chance to get things right.
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That's why he changed.
"You know, I never did much like you, Liam." Ha. There. He said it first. Taking a sip from his hip flask, he exhaled slowly. "Always thought you were a bit of a dick."
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No one calls him that anymore, not since his family died. Not that he expects any sympathy from Spike when it comes to any of that.
"I always was."
No use denying that.
"You're doing great at picking up the slack now that I'm trying to stop."
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But Spike can't. He knew it was irrational and kind of crazy but he just couldn't stop himself.
"I can't so why should you?"
Petty but whatever. "You were supposed to be --whatever, doesn't matter." His friend. His mentor. Other things. Whatever.
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What a preposterous notion, to think that he could ever get away from the things he's done.
"What was I supposed to be?"
Might as well hear another way in which he failed. He's always been so very good at not being what people want him to be. The only person he ever came close to pleasing was probably Darla, but he would never claim that with any amount of confidence.
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He completely broke Drusilla. Whether or not he meant it to get out of hand like it did, he truly believed that Angel could have stopped it.
The question is a little hard to answer, he lowered his head and frowned a little.
"Not what you were. And exactly what you were. I-- doesn't make much sense." He huffed a laugh out. "You were supposed to be my yoda, my ... my friend. Not that I needed it, mind. Just saying."
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Angel's current MO was something more along the lines of hunching and skulking. He was going to give himself problems with how bad his posture was getting.
"I'm sorry I let you down, Will."
For some reason, Spike had always been the hardest one to say those words to, and if Angel was to be honest he probably still couldn't say them without being locked in a dark room with the guy.
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Spike wanted to be upset but, as always, it came out as anger. He never knew how to express half of what he felt, that was why his poems were such a hot mess. Angrily, he jumped up and started to pace, agitated and worked up.
"Stop playing this game, I know what you're doing. Use my name and -- this is what you do to Dru! And it gets all in your head and starts to -- God!" He growled and kicked a nearby stack of boxes. Like a big man. "You drive me up the bleeding bend, you do."
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"The feeling's mutual, Spike."
Was there a more annoying person in the universe?
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Moving forward, he gave him a small shove, not enough to do anything but empathises his point. Gritting his teeth, he stayed in his personal space, hand on his chest.
"You're jealous that I got everything and you got nothing. Not any more!"
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"Maybe your real problem is that I'm not. I don't want anything that you have, I don't know why you can't get that through your thick skull."
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"You got nothing on me." He gripped Angel's jacket and moved in close, practically bearing his teeth. "Nothing."
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He took hold of Spike's wrists and tore his hands away from his jacket. He would have gladly let go after, but he kept his hold in case Spike decided to take a swing at him.
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Spike wriggled around in Angel's grip but he couldn't just get him off. Embarrassing, actually. He shoved at him again and groaned in annoyance. "Fucking let go of me now, Peaches. I mean it."
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