"He's at least as good at kissing as he is at throwing a punch." Riley. Right, right, she should be thinking about him. Why was it that when she talked to Angel, the rest of the world seemed to lose focus?
She'd blame hormones, that seemed safest. "Not sure if he measures up to Spike, mind."
"Not really. He smells like an ashtray and dresses like a background extra in a movie about a tragic punk couple." Buffy's opinion might be clouded by how much she wanted to punch Spike in the face for so many reasons, but still. She didn't think she was entirely wrong. "Not exactly my type."
That actually got a pretty big laugh out of Angel, because for one he enjoyed making fun of Spike, and for another it was just a pretty damn accurate summary.
"M-hm." At this point, for better or worse, she couldn't really deny it any more. "I go for annoyingly gorgeous, very fit, earnest with some hidden secrets types. You might recognise them from your mirror." Well, there was really no need to pretend that Angel wasn't her type.
"Safe enough." She supposed. It all depended on what one meant by that word and Buffy wasn't always sure any more what it meant at all. To be safe. To feel safe. She supposed she had last had it in Angel's arms.
Ah, well.
"Drusilla told me that love is pain. When I told her about you and Spike. She's not much of an optimist."
"I think her first love might have been me so. You know."
Maybe it really was just for the best that he'd managed to fuck things up with Buffy. Now she could move on and have the sort of love that she deserved.
He just couldn't stand the thought of not being a part of her life.
"Yeah, I figured." Unfortunately she knew a little too much about Drusilla by now. It had been easier when she just found her unsettling and felt jealous, now there was all that pity and other complex emotions. "I just think she's right. Don't you think she might be?"
This was so not the conversation she should have with Angel.
Or else maybe she had to curl up in bed and keep from crying somehow, have a good snuggle with her stuffed toys, that might be quite likely to be in the books.
Buffy couldn't even blame him for this. It was just what happened when she talked to Angel. The Angel effect.
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She'd blame hormones, that seemed safest. "Not sure if he measures up to Spike, mind."
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"You know, I'm starting to think you're a little curious about kissing Spike."
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"You have a type?"
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Angel probably helped define it.
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Not like all of his messed up shit that cut up everything around him.
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Ah, well.
"Drusilla told me that love is pain. When I told her about you and Spike. She's not much of an optimist."
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Maybe it really was just for the best that he'd managed to fuck things up with Buffy. Now she could move on and have the sort of love that she deserved.
He just couldn't stand the thought of not being a part of her life.
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This was so not the conversation she should have with Angel.
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He was pretty sure that it could never be anything but pain for him now, but that was another matter.
"Because I refuse to believe that is what your future looks like. If you love Riley and..."
He had to swallow a few times, because his throat was suddenly starting to feel very tight.
"And he loves you, then embrace it. Don't be afraid of pain, because if you're with someone you love, you never have to be alone with it."
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Or else maybe she had to curl up in bed and keep from crying somehow, have a good snuggle with her stuffed toys, that might be quite likely to be in the books.
Buffy couldn't even blame him for this. It was just what happened when she talked to Angel. The Angel effect.
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It would be too much to ask her if they could maybe talk again some time, wouldn't it?
"Sleep well."
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"I love you."